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When Michelle Cuthrell’s husband was deployed with the former 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team to Mosul, Iraq, she shared stories of her life in a column called “Until They Come Home,” published in the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner.
The newlywed wrote of her life in Alaska, pregnancy and raising their first child, born during the brigade’s deployment. The Cuthrell family has since moved on to another assignment, but Cuthrell is returning to Alaska this week to promote the release of her book, Behind the Blue Star Banner.
The book documents Cuthrell’s journey to reunion, and the lessons she learned about true service and sacrifice along the way. The family is in Washington now; husband Matt is stationed at Fort Lewis. Cuthrell, a wife and mom first, also telecommutes as an editor for her book publisher.
Cuthrell said initially she wanted to be a broadcast news reporter, and actually attended New York’s Ithaca College for broadcast journalism. But halfway college, she said, “I realized that I was just too lazy to spend an hour on my hair and makeup every day so that I could appear on camera.”
Cuthrell did some feature TV news reporting about the military and their families at Fort Wainwright for KTVF-11, the CBS affiliate in Fairbanks. But her love of writing remains and extends to Cuthrell’s editing position, where she helps others also turn their stories of courage into books.
Her book is about dealing with life on the home front during her husband’s deployment and extension. Behind the Blue Star Banner is broken down into chapters by months. There are 17 chapters in all, one for each month of the deployment (from August 2005 through December 2006).
Each chapter focuses on a different aspect of deployment, including the topics of sacrifice, patriotism, service and coping. Cuthrell included many of her News-Miner columns (which were often picked up by the Alaska Post).
When the Department of Defense extended Matt’s unit for four additional months in-country, just 10 days shy of his much-anticipated homecoming after a year at war, Cuthrell temporarily fell apart. It was in those difficult days she learned the real value of friendship, faith and unfailing love, Cuthrell said.
“After overcoming — and I deliberately use the word ‘overcoming’ and not ‘surviving’ — a 16-month deployment and extension on the home front, I strongly feel called to share my knowledge and my experience and my trials and my triumphs with others, so they might learn from my mistakes and build on my lessons and be encouraged during their own deployments and life struggles.
Every year, some 140,000 Soldiers deploy to Iraq and Afghanistan. They leave behind spouses and children and friends and loved ones to cope and move on in their absence. Thankfully, there is a wealth of resources on the market for Soldiers. But unfortunately, there aren’t quite as many for spouses.
Cuthrell said her hope is the book will be a comfort, encouragement and friend for all those experiencing deployment on the home front, and a tool for understanding, compassion and action for those who want to better support those who serve at home.
The way Cuthrell chooses to go through life, the lessons she shares could be valuable for anyone — civilian or military, male or female — anyone determined to weather adversity or to try to make the most of life’s everyday challenges.
“Choose joy,” Cuthrell said. “In the midst of every trial, you have the opportunity to choose joy. Often times, people confuse joy with happiness. Happiness is a response to a stimulus; joy is a choice to be grateful in all circumstances and to deliberately look on the bright side.
“Trials like deployment don’t cause happiness — no couple wants to be separated for 12 and 15 months at a time while one of them serves under dangerous conditions and the other one maintains the house, the finances and the children back at home. But if you view deployment through the proper lens, it can bring joy,” she said.
“You just have to view the trial as an opportunity to grow in your own compassion, understanding, service and selflessness, and embrace the challenges deployment brings with enthusiasm, knowing that you have the awesome opportunity to come out on the other side a stronger, better person.”
She said this is the most important lesson she learned, and she wants to share that with others.
Cuthrell shares the dark times, being away from her husband after spending so little time together as a married couple (nine months in the same state). She calls the medical company unit leader her best friend, and it is friendship she cherishes.
Friends and family are often mystified by a military spouse’s choice to live so far from home, in a strange town, and in Cuthrell’s case, a place where the mercury plunged to 40 below zero.
Why not move home while the military member is deployed?
“My family is incredible and I went back to visit, but what I needed during deployment was a support network of people who were going through the same thing as me, and a community who understood deployment,” Cuthrell said.
“Between Friends Church, the community of Fairbanks and my military friends at Fort Wainwright, I had a family — I just wasn’t related to them by blood. They were the biggest encouragers and supporters throughout my deployment. Had I gone home, I would have missed out on that incredible network of people,” she said.
“When I look back at those 16 months now, I actually smile,” she said. “Yes, all of us endured some crazy trials and none of us wants to do it again anytime soon, but in the end, the things I remember about those long 16 months are not the hard days; they are the nights I spent laughing and learning with spouses and friends who became my family that year.
“Because of the incredible people in Fairbanks, I have some amazing memories from that year alone.”
For more information, visit www.behindthebluestarbanner.com.
Join Michelle Cuthrell for Behind the Blue-Star Banner’s launch day Saturday in Fairbanks. The book signing is from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Barnes & Noble at 421 Merhar Ave.
Cuthrell will present “The Joy Choice: Choosing Joy in the Midst of Adversity (and deployment)” after the book signing.
The public is also invited to the release party Saturday from 3 to 5 p.m. at Common Grounds Coffee Shop, 1485 30th Ave. in Fairbanks
